Why Anyone Wearing Glasses Is Like A Ditzy Blond

A friend recently asked me, "Dan, I have perfect vision. But I still want to wear glasses for fashion reasons - I think they're a cool accessory to have in my wardrobe. Is it silly to wear glasses with non-prescription lenses?" In thinking about his question, a few quick associations came to mind- Superman putting on prescriptionless glasses to become mild-mannered Clark Kent, the child at the glasses store messing around as she waits for her mother to try on glasses with prescription lenses, and the ditzy blond who puts on prescription-less glasses to look smarter. That last image really struck me as capturing something fundamental about wearing glasses that we think about as children but then are told is not true as we grow older- glasses signal intelligence.

And so in thinking about my friend's question, I began to ponder what causes people with vision problems to wear glasses with prescription lenses. As someone with vision problems myself (20:450 vision), I know the various options available. There is LASIK, which represents a substantial up-front cost and is (probably unfairly) perceived as dangerous. Then there are contact lenses, which essentially allow a vision-impaired person to function like a person with perfect vision once the contacts are on- no separation between you and the world around you, observers have no idea that you have imperfect vision. The downsides are the cost and the annoyance factor of putting lenses in, taking them out and caring for them. But for most people in our relatively affluent, relatively groomed society, neither of these are particularly onerous costs. The final option is glasses. Glasses have the downside of restricting one's peripheral vision, irritating one's nose, and leaving one incapable of seeing if one decides to take the glasses off or they fall off for any reason. What is the upside of glasses? There is the lower cost- which may be important for some people, but again in our relatively prosperous society is likely to be negligible for most people. That doesn't sufficient seem to explain the prevalence of glasses in our society. So what is the hidden upside of glasses? It is their function as a fashion accessory.

In a broad sense, glasses function like a watch or earrings- a fashion accessory to personalize your brand by wearing any one of hundreds of styles (fashion as branding is the subject of the next post). But in a more specific sense, glasses are worn to project an intelligent personal brand, just as we thought when we were children. In thinking about who I see wearing glasses, I realized that (at least in liberal enclaves like New York or New Haven) two of the primary glasses-wearing populations are hipsters and academic types. What ties these two groups together is their shared respect for intelligence, whether it is of the ironic detachment style or the earnest study style. And when a hipster or an academic walks down the street, goes to a party, or does any number of activities in which he or she meets new people (many of whom will be hipsters or academics), wearing glasses is a quick way to signal to them that s/he is intelligent. In fact, the two types of people will wear different styles of glasses in order to brand themselves as not only intelligent but specifically a hipster or an academic. A hipster might wear vintage glasses like Wayfarers to signal a quirky, ironic intelligence:










Whereas an academic type might wear something like tortoise shell glasses to signal a serious, erudite intelligence:















Who else wears glasses to brand themselves as intelligent? Librarians, Seth Rogen, Tina Fey, the list goes on... But what all of these people have in common is their use of glasses - which are not necessary for vision-impared people to wear in this day and age - to brand themselves as intelligent. While we all might scoff at the ditzy blond, perhaps an actress in a film, putting on glasses to brand themselves as intelligent, our friends, our favorite indie rock musicians and our most revered professors are doing the exact same thing (the only difference being that they actually are intelligent!). So to my friend who wants to wear prescriptionless glasses, I say, "Go for it- break the monopoly the vision-impaired have on Intelligence Branding!"